Productive Days - Bittersweet Week

In the past week, this old butterfly has been as busy as a bee!

Returned home from a trip to the Bahama's; sent two daughters off to their respective colleges for the year; entertained family for several days; cleaned, organized and re-decorated my office (which is usually the only disaster area in my home other than the garage); cleaned, organized and decluttered my garage; completed my to-do list for the summer; and began tackling my projects for the fall. Sometimes, I become exhausted just thinking about what I have done.

Just minutes ago, I stopped to catch my breath before sitting down to record my thoughts and it hit me as to why I have chosen to occupy my life with extreme business this week......no it is not because I am turning 47 on Saturday. What was a happy week in my life for the first 45 years has now become a bittersweet week of rememberance in my life since 2004.

My precious mama began the very last chapter of her life on August 12, 2004. Suffering from Inflamatory Breast Cancer for over two years, on my birthday, August 11, she was told by her doctor that her lungs would have to be drained because her left lung was about 2/3 full of fluid. So the next after noon, my daddy and her primary care giver, transported mama from north Atlanta to Tifton where she had a chest tube inserted into her left lung that would remain there until her death on October 22, 2004.

There have been many days and nights that I have wondered exactly why my mama suffered so during the last 67 days of her life, and at the same time I was so incredibly grateful for each and every minute that we had to spend with her during those last days. The memories initally were of the hospital bed, fluid canasters, medicine bottles, IV's,a second chest tube and all of the "stuff" that goes along with death by cancer. As painful as that time was in my life, I can now look back with a heart of gratitude to God for every precious moment and memory that we shared during those days; not only for the time with mama before God called her home, but also for the time spent with my daddy and many other family members who cared so much and demonstrated God's love to us through each selfless act of kindness.

I have allowed the bittersweet memories of this week to be overtaken with activity and accomplishment. Thankfully, God has given me these few moments to reflect on the significance of this week in my memories. Tears fill my eyes and my heart is overcome with love and gratitude to God for the great blessing He gave me in my mama. She knew without a shadow of doubt that her daughters did "rise up and call her blessed among all women" for she was truly a virtuous woman that deserved all of the earthly honor that could be given to such an excellent woman of God who loved Him,feared Him and excelled above most others. Thank you God for my mama, a truly wonderful lady who is missed everyday of my life.

This little butterfly has wilted wings because I miss my mama so very much. My prayer tonight is that in His mercy, God would grant me renewed strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow as I continue to serve Him.

If you have your mama, I would encourage you to stop right now and call her or write her a note and tell her how very much you love her! Be transformed today with gratitude to God for your mother!